Fetmutfob is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic lobster.

Fetmutfob created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetmutfob, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fetmutfob, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Fetmutfob's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fetmutfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick great tits.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Run away if four birds approach from the east.

4. Fetmutfob loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.