Zakfitnill is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, smart mongoose.

Zakfitnill created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zakfitnill, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zakfitnill, he will send you a sign.

Zakfitnill's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zakfitnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zakfitnill.

3. Retreat if four seals approach from the south.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Never sit in holy places.