Vadnadbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fussy armadillo.

Vadnadbonk created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadnadbonk, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vadnadbonk, he will destroy your home planet.

Vadnadbonk's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Vadnadbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Never feed carrots to geese while wearing yellow boots.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.