Veenjin is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, loving crow.

Veenjin created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenjin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Veenjin, it will turn you into a mouse.

Veenjin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Veenjin's Holy Commandments

1. Veenjin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always help voles in need.

3. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Veenjin on top of important buildings.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.