Kinbigbonkpig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing mink.

Kinbigbonkpig created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinbigbonkpig, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kinbigbonkpig, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Kinbigbonkpig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Kinbigbonkpig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Always pray immersed in water.