Sadbatbad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing seal.

Sadbatbad created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sadbatbad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sadbatbad, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sadbatbad's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Sadbatbad's Holy Commandments

1. Sadbatbad loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Run away from magenta ants, for they are unholy.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.