Nuttflamzanquam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful swan.

Nuttflamzanquam created an atom nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttflamzanquam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nuttflamzanquam, he will boil you in a big pot.

Nuttflamzanquam's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nuttflamzanquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think ill of sick great tits.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.