Xenmatboss is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving skunk.

Xenmatboss created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenmatboss, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xenmatboss, it will turn you into a rat.

Xenmatboss' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Xenmatboss' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never jump in the presence of ducks.

3. Do not take Xenmatboss' name in vain.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never eat green fruit.