Jarnboplathap is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, generous wasp.

Jarnboplathap created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnboplathap, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jarnboplathap, it will turn you into a rock.

Jarnboplathap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jarnboplathap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to monkeys while wearing black rings.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Hide if five frogs approach from the west.