Nelcum Higgofmut Baphudpan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, all-powerful dog.

Nelcum Higgofmut Baphudpan created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nelcum Higgofmut Baphudpan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nelcum Higgofmut Baphudpan, she will not care at all.

Nelcum Higgofmut Baphudpan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nelcum Higgofmut Baphudpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always help gulls in need.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Erect four lead sculptures of Nelcum Higgofmut Baphudpan on top of important buildings.

5. Never think ill of sick seals.