Daphogflan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful fish.

Daphogflan created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Daphogflan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Daphogflan, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Daphogflan's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Daphogflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms fawn.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Hide if five aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.