Flagcunmot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, witty scorpion.

Flagcunmot created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagcunmot, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flagcunmot, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Flagcunmot's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flagcunmot's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never eat turnips.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about amino acids.