Gudloopmif is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, bad-tempered scorpion.

Gudloopmif created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudloopmif, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gudloopmif, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gudloopmif's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gudloopmif's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gudloopmif first in all things.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gudloopmif.

5. Hide from white mice for they are unholy.