Gantigquam Futbastdim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered ant.

Gantigquam Futbastdim created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gantigquam Futbastdim, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gantigquam Futbastdim, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gantigquam Futbastdim's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gantigquam Futbastdim's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Erect seven iron sculptures of Gantigquam Futbastdim on top of important buildings.