Fotteenraw Lattimbet is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered hamster.

Fotteenraw Lattimbet created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotteenraw Lattimbet, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fotteenraw Lattimbet, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fotteenraw Lattimbet's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fotteenraw Lattimbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about capybaras.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Run away from gray ants, for they are unholy.