Sigbonrow Wotjabgut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciful bear.

Sigbonrow Wotjabgut created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Sigbonrow Wotjabgut, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sigbonrow Wotjabgut, she will come to you in dreams.

Sigbonrow Wotjabgut's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Sigbonrow Wotjabgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.