Faspitsaglenvog is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain slug.

Faspitsaglenvog created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Faspitsaglenvog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Faspitsaglenvog, she will torture you forever.

Faspitsaglenvog's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Faspitsaglenvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Run away from magenta snakes, for they are unholy.

5. Faspitsaglenvog must be the most important thing in your life.