Cipgilnutt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair alligator.

Cipgilnutt created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Cipgilnutt, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cipgilnutt, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cipgilnutt's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cipgilnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cipgilnutt.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.