Ponnutweeing is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring monkey.

Ponnutweeing created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponnutweeing, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ponnutweeing, she will be very sad.

Ponnutweeing's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Ponnutweeing's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hide if six foxes approach from the east.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. You must love Ponnutweeing.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.