Yattflowsugjon Sugtenbastyokpodarncityog is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, boastful cow.

Yattflowsugjon Sugtenbastyokpodarncityog created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattflowsugjon Sugtenbastyokpodarncityog, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yattflowsugjon Sugtenbastyokpodarncityog, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Yattflowsugjon Sugtenbastyokpodarncityog's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Yattflowsugjon Sugtenbastyokpodarncityog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yattflowsugjon Sugtenbastyokpodarncityog.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Hide from white gulls for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.