Xennurcap is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, awe-inspiring porpoise.

Xennurcap created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Xennurcap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xennurcap, he will not care.

Xennurcap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Xennurcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide from brown tapirs for they are unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.