Gabcanflat is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody clam.

Gabcanflat created the Tadpole Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabcanflat, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gabcanflat, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gabcanflat's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gabcanflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Feed all hungry otters.

5. Always help bats in need.