Barnnartarm is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omnipotent squid.

Barnnartarm created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnnartarm, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Barnnartarm, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Barnnartarm's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Barnnartarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never sit in the presence of capybaras.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Barnnartarm.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Barnnartarm loves pigs, so they must be respected.