Yoksidcan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent crab.

Yoksidcan created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yoksidcan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yoksidcan, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Yoksidcan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Yoksidcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never wear white stockings.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.