Rigvonkam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, almighty rhinoceros.

Rigvonkam created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Rigvonkam, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rigvonkam, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Rigvonkam's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Rigvonkam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rigvonkam.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never mention aardvarks.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.