Nellyimster is a god.

He takes the form of a small, pitiless penguin.

Nellyimster created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellyimster, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nellyimster, he will send minions to preach to you.

Nellyimster's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Nellyimster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Worship no other gods but Nellyimster.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nellyimster.