Yarquafceb is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonest jaguar.

Yarquafceb created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarquafceb, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yarquafceb, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yarquafceb's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Yarquafceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Never paint your feet yellow.

3. Never laugh near moths.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.