Timhudcib is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, omnipotent bat.

Timhudcib created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Timhudcib, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Timhudcib, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Timhudcib's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Timhudcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Retreat if three moths approach from the east.