Milcamfed is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish donkey.

Milcamfed created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Milcamfed, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Milcamfed, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Milcamfed's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Milcamfed's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never wear white dresses.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.