Kopdosstarp is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing weasel.

Kopdosstarp created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopdosstarp, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kopdosstarp, it will jump up and down on your head.

Kopdosstarp's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Kopdosstarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Run away from white frogs, for they are unholy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kopdosstarp.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not commit murder.