Yarpgovwod is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless hamster.

Yarpgovwod created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpgovwod, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarpgovwod, she will make you grow a tail.

Yarpgovwod's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Yarpgovwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Do not take Yarpgovwod's name in vain.

4. Never laugh in the presence of turtles.

5. Never paint your face pink.