Affedxen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witty centipede.

Affedxen created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Affedxen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Affedxen, he will turn you into a tree.

Affedxen's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Affedxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Run away from yellow mites, for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Affedxen.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.