Bedjippad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating whale.

Bedjippad created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedjippad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bedjippad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bedjippad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bedjippad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Do not kill snakes.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bedjippad on top of all buildings.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.