Gesstomdad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy bird.

Gesstomdad created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Gesstomdad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gesstomdad, he will turn you into a dog.

Gesstomdad's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gesstomdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Always look after injured sheep.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.