Mitjanpid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, charitable bird.

Mitjanpid created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Mitjanpid, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mitjanpid, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Mitjanpid's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Mitjanpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mitjanpid.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.