Kabsadvag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-assured octopus.

Kabsadvag created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabsadvag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kabsadvag, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Kabsadvag's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Kabsadvag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Kabsadvag.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Never talk about sheep.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.