Yaklidwandim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, kind manatee.

Yaklidwandim created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yaklidwandim, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yaklidwandim, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yaklidwandim's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yaklidwandim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always help snails.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never skip in the presence of dolphins.

5. Do not covet oxen.