Didyokyok Barnbeport is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awesome porpoise.

Didyokyok Barnbeport created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Didyokyok Barnbeport, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Didyokyok Barnbeport, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Didyokyok Barnbeport's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Didyokyok Barnbeport's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Do not kill capybaras.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Didyokyok Barnbeport on top of all buildings.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.