Kanjiprul Sugtigfedtonkcep is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, blissful scorpion.

Kanjiprul Sugtigfedtonkcep created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanjiprul Sugtigfedtonkcep, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kanjiprul Sugtigfedtonkcep, he will jump up and down on your head.

Kanjiprul Sugtigfedtonkcep's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Kanjiprul Sugtigfedtonkcep's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. You must love Kanjiprul Sugtigfedtonkcep.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Kanjiprul Sugtigfedtonkcep.