Bitdanjab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating dove.

Bitdanjab created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitdanjab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bitdanjab, he will turn you into a mole.

Bitdanjab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bitdanjab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bitdanjab.

5. You must never eat corn.