Ingyogkar is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, egotistical cow.

Ingyogkar created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingyogkar, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ingyogkar, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ingyogkar's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Ingyogkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.