Hakkomsin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, confident frog.

Hakkomsin created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakkomsin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hakkomsin, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hakkomsin's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hakkomsin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hakkomsin eight times a day.

2. Worship no other gods but Hakkomsin.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink alcohol.