Dogzenmin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured lizard.

Dogzenmin created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogzenmin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dogzenmin, he will turn you into a mole.

Dogzenmin's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dogzenmin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never hurt otters.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Never pour water over plants.