Ditvaghivjen Yartzenpin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthinking parrot.

Ditvaghivjen Yartzenpin created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ditvaghivjen Yartzenpin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditvaghivjen Yartzenpin, it will ignore you.

Ditvaghivjen Yartzenpin's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Ditvaghivjen Yartzenpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never bounce in the presence of voles.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Hide if seven snakes approach from the west.

5. Put Ditvaghivjen Yartzenpin first in all things.