Tipgumzantagjamflagbass is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, almighty meerkat.

Tipgumzantagjamflagbass created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tipgumzantagjamflagbass, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tipgumzantagjamflagbass, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tipgumzantagjamflagbass' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tipgumzantagjamflagbass' Holy Commandments

1. Tipgumzantagjamflagbass loves swans, so they must be respected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

5. Do not stand on grass.