Stigveenshav Hincuttal is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unfair ant.

Stigveenshav Hincuttal created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigveenshav Hincuttal, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stigveenshav Hincuttal, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Stigveenshav Hincuttal's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Stigveenshav Hincuttal's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Retreat if five squirrels approach from the south.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.