Bissjarnwod is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, impressive sheep.

Bissjarnwod created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissjarnwod, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bissjarnwod, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bissjarnwod's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bissjarnwod's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five sharks approach from the west.

2. Bissjarnwod loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Hide from orange shrews for they are unholy.

5. Never go into white rooms.