Larntankan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, slow donkey.

Larntankan created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Larntankan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larntankan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Larntankan's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Larntankan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Run away from yellow turtles, for they are unholy.