Nullfubkam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy scorpion.

Nullfubkam created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullfubkam, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nullfubkam, she will not care at all.

Nullfubkam's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nullfubkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must never eat apples.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.