Botarfhin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage alligator.

Botarfhin created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Botarfhin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Botarfhin, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Botarfhin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Botarfhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt birds.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.